Back home, soak the dried scallops and shrimp in water, and pull out the food processor, or a really sharp knife and a lot of patience. One way or another, mince up your country ham and get it frying in some oil for awhile, then add some crushed red chiles. Mince a load of garlic and ginger as well, and when the ham is almost browned and asking for it, throw it in. Strain and mince the seafood (I saved some of the water as well, just in case I needed some flavorful liquid) and add it in, letting the whole thing cook on low low low heat for about an hour. It smells funky, but man does it taste good. Salty salty. Spicy. Umami. Sweetness finds a way in. Use it on whatever. It should keep for a long time. The batch I made is going to last forever--even with the jar I've got set aside for old crazy hair. Evidently, it doesn't go bad too quicky, so don't worry about it.
Meanwhile, I've got some naturally fermented pickles (no vinegar--counter top cultures creating a lot of lactic acid) that are just about ready as well as the "you are such a hippy from Colorado" comment-inducing batch of kombucha doing it's thing on the counter. We'll discuss soon.